


just long enough

by Shinkirou



Category: DOGS - Fandom
Genre: Daily December, M/M, Mental Instability, Partnership, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2012-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-20 12:03:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/585215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinkirou/pseuds/Shinkirou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's all a matter of observation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Haine Side

For the first day or two, Haine doesn't really even notice that Badou's not around; it's not as if they haven't been separated since the day they met four and some odd years ago, after all. Eventually he notices, though, simply because of the _silence_. Naoto is too busy with some shit to bug him (thank the god he doesn't believe in), and he's been avoiding the church because lately Bishop's been getting more annoying about everything. Even when he does go, it's not like Nil can talk to him, and he always leaves quickly so the fuckin' priest can't talk his goddamn ear off.

It's wandering the streets when he notices it the most. Sure, Badou can be - and often is - fucking agitating, but he's really the only one who ever really talks to Haine without fearing him - the only one who ever treats him completely the same as he treats anyone else, if not a little better. Well, except the Bishop, but Haine hates that creepy fuckin’ woman obsessed man. By the third day, Haine's actually feeling a bit hesitant because how would he know if Badou had gotten kidnapped or some shit? The redhead isn't immortal like him, and isn't all that cautious, either. Haine sits on his couch (to stop himself from pacing, which he'd never admit to because that's a nervous habit and _he is not nervous_ ), thinking back, trying to remember if Badou said anything about any jobs he would be taking on, or if he figured he'd get in shit any time soon, but nothing comes to mind.

That means one of a few things have happened: either Haine should pay more attention (pft, yeah right), Badou's been kidnapped ( _again_ ), he's dead, he went somewhere alone (which basically leads back to option three) or he's just avoiding Haine.

Haine is a little surprised by how much that last option pisses him off.

So he does the only few things he can - calls Mimi and the crew at Buon Viaggio, calls Badou's apartment, and asks Bishop. When none of those things provide any results, Haine admits to himself that he's a little worried - but only to himself. It's not like Badou to leave abruptly without taking _someone_ with him, or at least mentioning that he’s going somewhere, and that means it's most likely the other options - he's gotten kidnapped again, and/or he's dead.

_'Good'_ , Haine thinks snidely to himself, _'now I don't have to save his useless ass all the time, and I can keep all the reward money for myself'_.

Except, those thoughts don't actually make him feel any better, and they don't stop him from standing up, grabbing his jacket, and heading outside.

\- - - - -

The walk to Badou's apartment makes him even more annoyed - if the bastard didn't even manage to leave some sort of sign of if he'd been taken or not, Haine will be pissed. So when he opens (… okay, kicks down) the door, he's surprised to find the male himself standing there, staring at him, looking halfway between surprised and pissed off.

Haine frowned, too used to fighting to just be relieved, "What's that look for?"

"... Seriously? It took you three days to check around to see if anyone knew where I was, and then you finally come looking for clues yourself and you _kick my door in_ , and you don't even look a little relieved to see me, then _you_ ask me what ‘that look’ is for?"

Haine ignores him. "... Have you been here the whole time?"

Badou huffs, knowing that there is no point in staying pissed, though he still sounds agitated when he replies, "No, asshole, I just got back from the middle of fucking nowhere. I was about to go have a shower when you broke my goddamn door down!"

"Your own fucking fault. Next time don't leave without telling anyone where you're going, dumbshit."

Badou pauses, not taking the bait, and Haine can feel the hairs on the back of his neck raise, sensing something bad. "... You were worried."

"Wha- was not, fuck you, if you wanna go out and die on your own, fine by me, just leave a note or some shit so I can let everyone else know."

Of course, Badou brushes the cruel remarks off, grinning like some smarmy mafia boss who'd just captured his enemy. "You were! You were so worried! You came here because you were starting to panic, and -" At the sight of Haine dropping a hand to one of his guns, Badou backpedaled, arms flailing in a gesture of surrender, "- woah, okay, I get it, I'll stop teasing you."

The albino snorts, slamming the now slightly-off door back into it's frame, wandering the rest of the way in and flopping on the redhead's couch.

Badou finally cracks after a minute or two of them just sitting in awkward silence. "... So, uh, I'm fine. Didn't even get shot this time. You can go."

"... Sleeping here." Haine decides on a whim, rolling over so his face is buried in a pillow. Fuck if he wants to talk about it. Yeah, he can admit to himself that he’s glad Badou is fine, but like hell is he gonna say it out loud.

"Eh - on my couch? Right now?” Badou pauses, but upon not receiving an answer, continues, “Whatever, suit yourself. I'm havin' shower so if you use any water I'll fuckin' shoot you in the stomach repeatedly."

"Whatever, prissy bitch, go have your goddamn shower." Haine replied, lifting his head out of the cushion just in time to see Badou flip him off before disappearing around the corner and down the hall. As the sound of running water filles the small apartment, Haine curls up a little more, nuzzling the pillow a bit only to scowl when he finds it smells overwhelming like nicotine and the scent of denim and gunpowder that he has come to associate with Badou. Damn, he can even smell his goddamn useless partner now?

... Still, he’s glad that the redhead didn't need saving again - if he'd had to pursue some random motherfuckers and save Badou’s useless ass, Haine would've just been pissed. But this still leaves him needing to talk to his partner in crime, and if he does it while the other's in the shower, he can escape before Badou can follow him, so he walks into the (unlocked, thankfully) bathroom and casually faces the door.

Sure enough, he can hear the shower curtain's hooks jangling against the rod as the plastic curtain is pulled to the side, "The fuck you doing?"

"... Don't leave without telling me. We had jobs, and… Whatever. Just..." He trails off, and extends a hand to the doorknob, ready to escape, when Badou sighs and says "wait".

Haine is tempted to leave anyway - the tone of Badou's voice is all serious, which means awkward conversations, and fuck he is not up to this right now, but he hesitates just in case it's actually something important.  
When Badou doesn't say anything, though, Haine gets a little pissed off and half turns to look over his shoulder, knowing the redhead will at least be half hidden by the shower curtain by now -

\- only to find himself being splashed in the face with as much water as Badou's cupped hands can hold. Sputtering indignantly, and really pissed off, Haine reaches for the tap on the sink after rubbing at his face with a nearby hanging towel, but finds a hand grabbing his instead.

He's almost afraid to open his eyes, unknowing of Badou's current state of undress - only to be more than a little surprised to find his head being tugged down to rest in the juncture between the redhead's neck and shoulder. It's almost… comforting, as if he needs shit like that, but suddenly Haine finds himself not minding being able to smell his partner so vividly so much, but he doesn't dare say anything at all, not even a curse. Badou is almost hugging him, but not really, and he doesn't dare return the semi-embrace - only a few seconds that feel like an eternity pass when the Badou male mumbles "Sorry, worrywart" under his breath.

Just like that, the touch is gone and the spell broken as Badou steps away from him and back into the shower. It is awkward, just as Haine had feared it would be, but he knows neither of them will say anything about it, ever. He's just sort of standing there, staring at the wall, when Badou apparently reaches the end of his tolerance, gets agitated and huffs, "Now get out, you reek like wet dog."

Haine’s eye twitches in anger and he jerks the hot tap all the way up on his way out.

Badou's shrill scream is worth it, even if he'll shoot him later.


	2. Badou Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, someone's gotta notice these things.

Badou notices immediately that Haine's gone. Even if they don't always see each other in the run of a day, something just tells Badou that his partner in crime isn't around. It could be the lack of people chasing them around trying to kill them. Of course, Badou knows better than to waste time worrying - Haine's immortal, (well, for the most part,) so it's not like he has to worry about the other being dead or some shit (because _damn_ , that'd be inconvenient). Still, he dutifully asks Bishop if he knows where the albino went, and isn’t surprised when he receives a negative answer. 

_‘Well, fuck it_ ', Badou thinks, because Haine's a big boy, and he can take care of himself. And anyone who pisses him off, a little more permanently. Not to mention the whole immortality bit. So he goes on with life as normal - smokes a lot, talks to a lot of girls, gets shot down and shot at and nearly killed a few times (for shit pay, too!), until finally it's the fifth day and okay, maybe he's a little worried. 

He sits in silence in his apartment, reaching for the phone and dialing Haine's number, unsurprised when it eventually disconnects him. For a second he'd considered the notion that perhaps Haine had just been on another one of his gaming and movie sprees and passed out (though typically he’ll wake up from those in about a day or two and crawl out of the cave he calls home), but apparently that ain’t it this time. 

So he heads back outside and puts his skills to work (and by that he means he figures he’ll ask Mimi and Naoto and investigate himself if he really has to), and by the end of the day he's figured out that Haine just kind of wandered away, apparently of his own volition. No obvious threat (though Badou suspects there wouldn’t be too many of those that worked in the first place), or bribe, or any real reason for him to leave at all.   
Somehow, that doesn't comfort Badou, and so he checks all the other places that he knows where Haine likes to lurk (which is admittedly not very many) in pursuit of his partner. 

He's tired and cranky and ready to go home when he sees it - the albino is just fuckin’ standing at the top of a rather tall building, near the edge. Badou has a momentary internal panic spasm, thinking that he's going to jump and wondering morbidly if it would kill him, but apparently Haine sees him, because he waves down at him and then beckons him up. 

Badou’s a little antsy, not exactly afraid of heights, but not typically stupid enough to stand on the edge of a rooftop with shitty, broken metal fences as the only safety mechanism. Still, he moves over to where Haine is now sitting (slowly and very carefully – a fall like this _might_ not kill Haine, depending how he lands, but Badou’s not fucking stupid enough to think he himself would be so lucky), legs draped over the edge and arms folded on the shitty low fence in front of him, staring at the now darkening sky. 

Badou doesn't bother to ask where Haine's been, knowing he'll just get some half assed excuse or a vague answer and some snarky ass remark if he does. Instead, he opts to sit with his back leaning against the Haine's (nice and far from the edge, thanks), and they sit in silence and watch the sky darken. They can't see the sun in this shithole of a city, so it's not like it’s some romantic sunset moment or some shit, it's literally just the sky growing darker, until eventually Haine starts talking. "I just needed some time to think."

Badou snorts. "Did I fuckin’ ask?" 

"Nah, but... You were worried." 

"Well, yeah.” Badou laughs quietly and continues jokingly, “Without you around, I'd be forced to keep taking on boring jobs for shit pay." Still, he's only half kidding, and Haine can apparently tell, because he stands up, shoving Badou roughly to make him fall flat on his back, and stands over him, scowling down at him. "Asshole."

Badou laughs again. "Like you didn't already know that."

Haine sitting on his stomach isn't something Badou expects, and he lets out a cough and shoves half-heartedly at his partner, knowing he can’t dislodge Haine unless he goes willingly. "You're fucking heavy. Been eating more lately, fatass?"

"Muscle weighs more than fat."

"You're scrawny as shit though."

Haine snorts. "You're one to talk. I could snap you in half without fuckin’ trying."

Badou snorts back, rolling his eyes. "You could snap probably _anyone_ in half ‘without fuckin’ trying’."

Haine suddenly goes quiet, and Badou wonders if alluding to the collar was a bad idea at the moment, bracing for a punch, only to have Haine clamber off of him, laying down beside him but facing the opposite direction. 

There’s a few moments of silence before Badou give in with a sigh, asking, "Alright, fine, what were you thinking about?"

"The fuck do you think?" Haine probably means for it to come out as a snappy remark, but he just sounds tired to Badou, and so the redhead rolls onto his side, too, tugging the leather-clad shoulder down forcefully, making Haine lay flat on his back instead of curled up on his side. Haine is scowling, but makes no move to roll back up. He could, easily, and they both know it, but it's exactly that knowledge that makes Badou somewhat relieved that he's not. It at least means they can get their little talk over with and move on quickly, so there’s that.

So, carefully, Badou lights a cigarette and, taking a long drag, ventures, "The collar?"

Haine pauses, scowling at the smoke so close to his nose, then admits, "Somethin’ like that, yeah."

Another pause as Badou exhales, then, "... Immortality?"

The silence is enough of an answer, but Haine nods minutely anyway. "... Sometimes I think about dying."

Badou tries not to look surprised and mostly fails. "Eh? Like, suicide, or just thinking how many times you would've died by now, or what?"

"... Both?” Haine sounds almost confused, but more annoyed, “I don't know. I should be dead, Badou." Haine’s eyes flicker up to meet the one Badou has left, and Haine actually looks almost-somewhat-vaguely vulnerable, and Badou flinches because _man_ he is not the person to talk to for shit like this. Haine shrugs absently, seeming a little less agitated as he sighs, "Dunno. Sometimes I guess I want to die; my life’s been pretty fucked, and Naoto’s katana can do it. Just feels weird, to suddenly have the option."

Badou takes another slow drag and doesn’t speak until he exhales again. "Haine."

"Ye-?" He doesn't get to even finish the word before there's a fist slammed into his cheek. His head jerks sideways, hitting the roof uncomfortably, and he spits out a bit of blood, surprised at the unexpected assault. Badou moves to sit on his stomach now, roles reversed from just minutes ago, but this time it's to keep Haine from getting up and fighting back. Haine glares up at Badou and hisses, "The fuck?"

Badou looks pissed, Haine notes a little belatedly. "Don't. Don't say that, okay? Ever. Fuck... Haine, goddamn, you can't just... Stop being so fucking stupid, alright?" 

"How is that stupid? For all the shit I've done, I really do deserve it. Fuckin’ admit it, I ain’t exactly a fuckin’ saint." Haine mumbles, bringing one hand up to wipe the blood away from his mouth.

Badou chuckles quietly, and it sounds a little hysterical. "You telling me you regret it? Do you regret saving Nil and all the other lost children? Do you regret taking down all those corrupt mafia motherfuckers? Do you regret killing the scum of the city in order to keep the innocents safe?"

Haine growls, knowing that Badou is just looking to start a fight but unable to resist being baited, because Badou just doesn’t fucking _get it_ , "No, I just-"

Badou's having none of it though, and interrupts him again. "Just what? You're just tired of living?” Badou laughs again, sounding much more bitter this time, “Well too fucking bad! We're partners now, and I'm not about to let you off yourself just because you're fuckin' bored. If you think you've done bad shit, killing yourself is the goddamn easy way out. ‘Sides, it’s not like I’m exactly a fuckin’ model citizen either. Work harder than ever to make up for it, if it bothers you that much. I don't give a shit if you've got some monster living in you, you're still Haine to me, okay? So if I ever hear you say shit like that again I'll beat you so badly you'll wish you had died."

Haine is silent, surprised by how genuinely pissed off Badou is. They’ve gotten into a lot of fights before, but usually it involves a lot more flinging insults and fists than… this, whatever the fuck _this_ is. Badou seems to clue into the fact that he's not about to get an argument, because he finally drops the grip he hadn’t seemed to realize he'd taken on Haine's jacket, and moves back a bit, though he doesn't actually get up. Haine stares up at him, still shocked into silence, but the look on the smoker's face isn't what he's expecting. 

That one sapphire eye looks so damn _hurt_ that Haine doesn't think at all before he sits up, forcing the redhead to slide off his stomach into his lap, and, with a mumbled threat, kisses him roughly. It’s just like their fights, once Badou stops being so completely frozen and actually presses back, neither willing to relent. There’s biting from both sides, and Haine is almost vaguely annoyed that he probably has another wound to heal now, but doesn’t pull away until they’re both about to suffocate.

Then Badou fucking laughs again, though he only sounds exasperated now, and Haine nearly jumps out of his skin at the unexpected reaction. 

"Fuck you're weird. One second you're talking about offing yourself, the next you're fuckin’ kissing me." Haine almost feels like he should apologize, but the word gets stuck in his throat when the smoker's good eye meets his again, and he looks so goddamn contented that Haine realizes it would be pointless. "Whatever, but you know this means you really fuckin’ can’t die, right? I don't need to lose another person I care about.” Then Badou gets an absolutely sickeningly sweet smile and adds, “and I'm sure you feel the same way, so I'll try to be more cautious too."

Embarrassed now, Haine scowls through his barely-visible blush and growls, "Who the fuck ever said I cared about you, asshole?"

Badou snorts, taking it lightly as usual, "Well, you did just kiss me, bitch. And you're still holding me here, by the way."

Haine blinks in confusion before realizing that his hands, at some point, had wound themselves around Badou's middle and were preventing him from moving away. Blushing darker and sputtering now, he quickly drops them, making the redhead laugh even harder as he maneuvers carefully backwards, standing up and offering a hand down to Haine. "Come on then pup. You're probably exhausted since you usually don't sleep when you're brooding like an emo bitch, so let's get you home and to bed."

"I'm not a kid, or some dog." Haine snaps, taking the offered hand anyway. They chatter lightly the whole way back to his apartment, and even though Badou teases him a lot, Haine finds it peaceful, much more so than the silence. 

And when the redhead flops into his bed alongside him, he doesn't even shove him out. When he wakes up, he'll blame it on being exhausted, because it’s not like Badou was wrong about the lack of sleep. With that plan in mind, Haine drifts off to the sound of steady breathing and the warmth of another person in his bed for the first time in a very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> forgot to post this here (it's been on my LJ for days), sorry ;;


End file.
